“Traditionally, the pinky swear is considered binding and tantamount to a handshake for sealing a deal; It  is the entwining of two people’s pinky fingers to signify that a promise has been made, The pinky swear signifies a promise that cannot be broken or counteracted by the crossing of fingers or other such trickery” (the free dictionary).


When my younger brother was five, he was so skinny and small that often, he would get lost in a roomful of people, simply because he seemed to fit into the strangest corners and into the most awkward of places; we would spend ages searching for him, only to find that he was asleep in the small space between the armchair and the wall and one would think, why on earth didn’t I think to look there? It seemed so obvious.

At other times, because he knew he would eventually be found, he would make me pinky swear (he was five, it’s allowed when you’re that old–I say this because he would be mortified to so admit) that I wouldn’t tell, and I would sit in the room, my eye partly turned in the direction of his hideout, the rest of me carefully conscience of the search, arched in the complete opposite direction to avoid exposing him. 

But now, my brother is taller than me and has to bend his head slightly to walk through a door though he is still just that bit too skinny; all the same, I look at him at times and I find myself thinking that I am still in search of him; that I’ve spent ages searching for him as he’s grown older, and found other places to hide himself, more nooks and crannies that on the one hand seem so obvious and yet still are far too remote to consider and the only times that we’re in the same spot long enough to find one another is when he is at his most lucid, not fully there but still willing to part the curtain behind which he hides, if only for an hour or so, to let me stand beside him for a moment and share in the secret of hiding in open places with him.

And funnily enough, it is I who now makes him pinky promise to tell me where he is, holding out my little finger and silently agreeing to tell no one; I find that he has also got adept at striking deals with me, ensuring that he is left with a few secrets of my own, to ‘even the playing field’ as it were, and I think, well, one can hardly disagree, after all pinky swears go both ways…

I was thinking today, I bet there’s so many of us that still pinky promise; still believe in the power of it and the ability in it to make a person accountable to their word. Strangely the learned habit of having complete confidence in a person who tells you that they are pinky sworn to keep their word doesn’t leave us when we are older, although perhaps most of us wouldn’t admit to it now…

but anyway, just a thought guys…lol


unashamed of the pinky promise x



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